moment

she was a living memory

when i looked into her eyes, i realised it was only ever me right there at that moment

she was a ghost from my past,

for about two years at this point, this past only existed to me in memory. after we went our separate ways, i no longer had to live with the constant reminder of the massive failure I felt that relationship to be.

i was genuinely alone for once, and my solitude brought with it time to reflect, an opportunity to grow and a chance to really set sail and build a brand new life in my own direction.

i never would have thought that in such a short period, i would have been through all i did, then be face to face with her again after a new year.

this being a new year, feelings of change and optimism were effectively high. i wasn’t second-guessing all the conclusions i had come to. still, i didn’t wanna let that residual negativity from the past ruin what could have been something positive.

i couldn’t believe it, to be honest.

with all the changes i went through, i was like a completely different person by the time we met. maybe i was even more different than i felt she had become during our years together.

things were chill, played some videogames, got food, and chatted between sending memes to each other.

i never truly knew what was on her mind, and unlike how i would’ve acted before, i never really pressed the issue. i tended to keep conversations casual and funny; every now and then, i’d bring up an idea.

i don’t know what she really wanted, i don’t know if she ever wanted more

don’t know if she ever truly wanted me back in her life or was just a victim of desperate curiosity when she messaged me out of the blue

who’s to say, but just as fast as she came, she left

and with it, all the memories we could have made and all the arguments we might have had

this made me think back and wonder why anyone would ever do what she did to me though and there’s no reasoning

with her vanishing, she took all the chances of anything else between us happening away

and that a reality i’ve already come to terms with already

so, in truth, all is well