In a way, I don’t want to say I’ve fully patterned time travelling, but there is this phenomena that I’ve experienced about time where I would spend it around people that made me feel distant from myself, right? And I’ll still operate within my typical day to day routine, but I would be doing so within this frame of mind where it feels distant.
Truly unfamiliar outside my own energy. Whether it’s operating in a place of insecurity or it’s operating in a place of fear or anxiety. Like there’s this one trend or so I forget the exact wording, but it’s a Tik Tok trend where it’s like ‘sometimes I wake up and I’m Michael Beasley, sometimes I wake up and I can’t find him.’ That’s in reference to like just feeling like yourself. Feeling like the person you know you are.
And then one day you wake up and you just don’t know who you are. You don’t know who you are, you just can’t feel it, you can’t embody that energy. But I found that after spending a long time within that, and then finally returning to your own energy, it genuinely feels like a time jump. Like you leap through time.
As if everything that you experienced within that time, it still happened to you, but it almost happened for you. Like everything was necessary so that you could grow and back into yourself, but at a different level, at a higher level, at a new, fresh level. And it’s like you wake up and a whole year could pass, you know, you may not sit out of your energy for a whole year, but like you just wake up and feel so shocked about how fast time truly flies.
And in the moment, you know, during times of suffering, times of doubt, you know, during the drought, it’s those times where it’s like sometimes hours feel the longest, hours truly feel the longest. You wonder like, how could you make it to tomorrow? You know, you make plans in this frame of mind hoping that things get better, but there’s no guarantee that things could get better, you know, so there’s this like this dread that looms over the future and then one day you wake up and like everything, all those stresses, all those negative energies are just a thought within a memory. They didn’t disappear. Like you still understand it on a cognitive level, but now in this moment it’s just a memory.
There is no true way to, like, simply time travel. But.
It’s like, I found that in times like those running further away from the problem, you know, causes that to last longer. Whether it’s running away from the problems, you know, hiding, unwilling to face it head on, or turning to substances, you know, drinking the pain away, literally, quite literally. Because at least in that moment when you’re, you know, artificially in this state of ease, the reality of the situation doesn’t hit home as hard.
But then that comes with its own problems. And it could snowball into a bigger problem than it originally was.
But the moment you finally return to yourself, you feel stable in your energy. You know, comfortable within your own skin, within your own space in this, space and time. Genuinely, comfortable within your own space in space and time. Because as much as we could, like, try and describe our lives through this superficial lens of relations to monetary wealth, status, and all those things, you could have the perfect combination of said things and still feel outside of yourself. You know, wake up next to the person that you expected to spend the rest of your life with and still feel so alone.
And when you finally return to yourself, all those things, all those emotions, all those … negative energies, they dilate. Then you can stand over it.
But yeah, time travel.
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